This week's topic of choosing your own kind of motherhood seemed to hit home, prompting some to make comments I felt worth revisiting.
The first comes from Shelby. She quotes Marvin J. Ashton, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
"Very often, in our anxiousness for the joys of the future we run away from the very things we are wanting and needing today. An appropriate examination of the passing moment will prove it leads to eternity. We need to constantly remind ourselves eternity is in process now." (Marvin J Ashton)
Self-help gurus call this living in the moment. I once told someone that I was planning for my future happiness, rather than being happy right now. "That's crazy," she told me. She was right. I spent hours calculating how old everyone would be in what year so that I could go back to school and finally get a real life. Meanwhile, my kids were scrambling for my attention, which I really translates to my love. Unfortunately, I couldn't see that my present was part of my future. Nor did I realize that years are made of moments. But now I'm starting to get it, at least some of the time. So my goal is to stop and breathe more often, asking myself what I and my family need and want today, not ten years from now. (Most of the time that would be dessert.)
Hillary also wrote something worth posting on the fridge:
"I think the key to being a good mom is being a happy mom."
Right you are, my friend. Let's all keep this in mind as we go about parenting. We all know the saying: If Mama ain't happy, then nobody is happy. For me, the saying has always been: If Mama ain't happy then she will make sure everyone else is miserable too, which means it's a typical day in the Hayward household. I'm better now. Perhaps I could have been better when the kids were smaller if only I had done more stuff that brought me happiness, which I could have shared with my kids.
I believe that being happy with yourself teaches your children to be happy with themselves, too. Cheesy as it may sound, loving yourself helps you to love others, too. And part of loving yourself is doing things that you enjoy on a regular basis.
And finally, here's one from one of my hilarious nieces, Kaylynne:
"I suspect that if the true cure for acne was no sugar...I'd live with the acne."
I hear you, sister. And right now I so want a blueberry donut. But as I write, I can feel that familiar itchy feeling on my chin that tells me another zit is on the way. Sigh.
Have a good weekend! Be a happy mom, notice the moment and be there for it. And whatever you do, don't eat sugar! (Or at least not a lot of it.)
