In the Middle of the Road

 

Dear Person Who Yelled at Me From Your Car (Which was a silver sedan, as I recall):

This morning as I was out jogging, minding my own business, you shrieked, "Get out of the middle of the road!" I did not have my ipod with me; I heard you perfectly fine. You did not need to yell. In fact, had you stopped, we could have had a nice conversation about WHY I was running in the middle of the road in the "storage lane" as they call it here in Utah. Perhaps you are not like me and do not have hip and joint pain and require a level surface upon which to run. The next time you drive down this particular road, notice how sloped the sides of the street are to allow for rain and snow to drip down into the gutter. That slope is murder on the legs, let me tell you. It makes your body work harder on one side, as if one leg were shorter. Also, with one leg doing more work, your hip starts to slip, causing throbbing pain.  So I run down the middle, where, as far as I recall from driver's education classes, cars are not allowed to linger. And I run against traffic so I can see what or who is coming. That's why I saw you coming. But I didn't expect the shrill cry of verbal phlegm launched from the safety of your speeding car. You startled me. No, you rattled me. After the initial shock, I began to fume, calling you things that I cannot repeat here. But that fuming fueled the rest of my run. Which happened to be in the middle of the next road. 

What I'm trying to say here is shame on you. Your behavior was right on par with the beer-bellied-Harley-driving-long-haired dude that yelled, "Run faster!" at me when I was jogging while seven months pregnant with my third child. Believe you me, it was really hard to resist flipping him off. But it's hard to outrun a motorcycle, especially when you're lugging around a child in your uterus. 

If you would like to discuss this matter further, you know where to find me. I'll be the one in the middle of the road.  

Sincerely, 

An Innocent Jogger with Bad Joints

P.S.

I also heard you call me an idiot as you drove off, which was a very cowardly thing to do.  I hope that was your cell phone I found in the middle of the road a few steps later, which I kicked down the storm drain. (Just kidding. I did see a cell phone, but I didn't kick it. Although I did wish it was yours. This prompted a long discussion with God and a few apologies on my part. He told me that you were there to teach me a lesson in patience. He also said that if you keep it up, you might mess up your final judgment, which I assume means that you will have to repeat seventh grade for the rest of the eternity.) 

Comments

[Allison]

I've gotten honks in Provo just because some people feel the need to be inappropriate, but luckily no rude yells. I'd say ignore it. You're doing a greater good by running than that person is by trying to insult you.

[shelby]

It's a bummer that we, as humans, judge so quickly. And, often, we are even quicker to anger. I know I am guilty of it. :) I am glad YOU learned patience from it and are willing to share the same lesson with us. (Sadly, I doubt the driver of the silver sedan took anything positive from it today...probably blogging (or tweeting or facebooking...) right now about the "idiot jogger" in the middle of the road this morning.) ;) Just shows YOU can be the bigger person.

Keep on jogging in that storage lane! Your hips deserve an even running surface!