Junior High Spy: The Last Installment

A few more words about junior high, and then I'm done. Really. 

Beginning Band Class

In band, they play a death march, apparently of Asian origin. It reminds me of a Samurai walking slowly towards a big tree stump, where a tall figure wearing a black shroud waits to slice off his head. Or maybe it's the tune played during an old James Bond movie when James is slinking through the bad guy's house looking for clues. At any rate, this is what I want played at my funeral, or rather the funeral procession. It would be good if there'd be weeping, renting of clothing and general hysteria as everyone slogs behind my casket. Even though I believe everyone will see me again some day (sans cellulite), my absence will be quite a blow to my children and husband come dinner time. 

Career and Technical Education

My son takes a career test on the state education website. What a crock. I took this type of quiz in high school and the results showed that I should be a dancer. I was taking ballet lessons at the time and had answered the questions accordingly. I lied about everything. Do you like to perform? the test asked. Oh yes, I replied, even though I got all sweaty and vomitous at every single piano recital. Do you like to dance? was another question. Heck yea, I answered. I danced to the radio in my room all the time.  

What I should have answered when asked what I liked was this: a big paycheck. 

There's a notice on the board asking parents to come talk about their occupation. That gets me to thinking. What am I occupied with? Is that different from what I'm preoccupied with? 

Student Senate

Discussion about Cum Laude, Magna Cum Laude and Summa Cum Laude. Really useful stuff. I got one of these fancy Latin terms on my diploma and wasn't sure what it meant. I had hoped it meant I was the Grand Poo Bah of my graduating class. At least that's what I told my kids it meant when they asked why they have to address me as "Your Majesty." 

We watch a video about recycling. One girl says she's going to save resources by using less water when she brushes her teeth. I decide that I will contribute by recycling last night's dinner. 

Gym

My son plays basketball in the far corner of the gymnasium while I watch from the bleachers. I have to lean to the side to see him through the clusters of sweaty little boys. What strikes me as odd, unfamiliar and unfathomable, is how much fun the kids seem to be having. They're smiling and laughing, joking with each other. This is nothing like my junior high gym experience. There were times when I was so open, had anyone thought to throw me the ball, I could have made a basket or a goal or a downtouch or whatever you call it. Well, okay, I maybe might have perhaps done those things. Or not. But I never had the chance to find out. After years of being passed over, I finally decided to bring some knitting to P.E. to pass the time. (Not really. My Nazi gym teachers would have gone ballistic. I had to at least pretend to be interested in what everyone else was doing.) Gym class involved balls when I was a thirteen-year-old. But usually it involved throwing balls at me, not to me. 

The teacher calls the class to attention with a blow of his whistle. Overhead the fluorescent lights buzz loudly while he tells them to clean up and go shower. The boys stampede to the locker room as a single unit. As the herd passes me by, I'm struck by a gust of wind that stinks of sweat, school lunch, crusty socks, and stale deodorant. It smells like little boy meets man. 

And just like that, the day is over. I've graduated from seventh grade and can go back to being a stay-at-home mom. It feels like I've been gone for months. Yet when I look at my watch, it's only been seven hours and thirty-five minutes. But who's counting, right?  

Comments

[shelby]

Are you sure it's over?!? I want more! :) Thanks for sharing your day with us.

[MaryB]

I can't imagine having to spend a whole day at the junior high (not being an employee there)! I think it would be dreadfully boring! What a long day that must have been for you! However, I did enjoy reading about your observations.