Chemo Therapy

Last week I spent the day with a neighbor while she went to her first chemo treatment. It made me grateful for my health. And for my family. And for this woman who is going through such a frightening experience with courage and grace. As I drove her home, she turned to me and said, "This is the most time we've ever spent together." 

It's true. Though we've lived next door to each other for seven years, we don't know each other as well as we could. We've always said hello at the mail box, waived from our cars as our garage doors closed, and often had pleasant conversations while hauling in our garbage cans, but I haven't kept really good track of how she and her husband were getting along. We live yards from each other but once we go inside our houses, we're in our own worlds. 

In October, this same neighbor limped over to my house to give my kids treats for Halloween. When I asked what was wrong with her leg, she replied, "I think I've pulled a muscle." I watched her slowly navigate my front porch steps back to her house, thinking that it might be more than that. Arthritis, or maybe a fracture. Then I closed the door and didn't give it another thought. 

Then around Thanksgiving, I met her again, trying to bring in her garbage can with one hand while holding a crutch in the other. "How's your leg?" I asked as I took the garbage can from her. 

She began to cry. "I've got cancer," she said. I let go of the garbage can and hugged her. It was the only thing I could think of to do. I didn't expect her answer to be cancer. And I suppose neither did she.

"You call me if you need help, all right?" I told her. She nodded vaguely. That's when another neighbor came over and said, "The problem is, she won't do that." Her tone was sharp, directed at both me and our sick neighbor. "You'll have to knock on her door," she added, "or she won't let you know she needs you."

So I took her advice and knocked on my neighbor's door recently. That's when I met her brother, who had been at the house for a week (I didn't know that either.) I gave him our number and begged him to call us. Then I closed the door and prayed that somehow we might be able to help. 

Later on I actually got a call. Through tears, my neighbor asked if I might give her a ride to her first chemo treatment because her husband is in the hospital and can't help right now. Of course I said yes. But there's nothing special about that. My neighbors across the street have offered to do the same. And the neighbor who told me to knock on the door rather than wait for a call has been helping too. We're all desperate to do something. 

As my neighbor and I headed home, I thought of all I'd learned that day. I learned that my neighbor is a fan of Sue Grafton novels, BBC mysteries, and ice cream. I learned that she's the middle child, that her aunts make excellent pies, and she wouldn't mind living in Oregon or Washington, though she likes it here, too. I also learned that though we may not know each other very well, it doesn't matter. Because sometimes neighbors stay strangers. And sometimes, neighbors become friends. And sometimes it takes a crisis for the one to turn into the other. 

   

Comments

[LauraB.]

Today's entry really touched my heart. It reminds us what the real meaning of Christmas is and to keep that spirit with us all year. It also reminds us that no matter what problem we have in our life right now, someone else has it worse than us and we should remember to count our blessings everyday. Well done Susan.

[michelle]

I think the hardest thing we need to do in life is to ask for help... great reminder that it is okay to need help, to ask for it, and to not be embarrassed to receive it. I have wanted and needed a lot of help this year, and have not always known how or what to ask for. Thank you to those who have been inspired in my direction and thank you for a sweet post!

[shelby]

It's been a while since I've been able to sit and really enjoy your blog. Reading this, I missed it. A real call to serve. Goes along so nicely with this months Visiting Teaching message, which just shouts out to me, "DO IT!" There is no excuse, do it. Thank you for sharing.