Sometimes when I think about what exactly I've accomplished in the last thirty seven years, a few things come up: Two college degrees, a collection of books, a few car wrecks, two kitchen fires, a few years of post-partum insanity, a whole-hearted but unsuccessful attempt to become fluent in Russian, a smattering of years living abroad, some time spent teaching my religion as a missionary in a foreign land, a handful of published work, a pile of photographs in the basement, and acne that appears to be eternal. These are things that will disappear when I die (except maybe the acne). Most of them nobody cares about already, including myself (aside from the car wrecks, which I'm sure my mother still cares about, seeing as how one of the cars was hers. Sorry, Mom.). But there are a couple of things that will last beyond me: the people in my life, namely my husband and kids.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't believe I've got a corner on the good karma market just because I have a good marriage and good children. I'm lucky to have these people in my life and quite often wonder why God liked me enough to send them my way. What I'm saying is that relationships last a lot longer than stuff. So maybe that's where the greatest potential for good is. And just maybe that's where my time and focus should be. (Moment of irony here. As I write this, my kids are playing the Wii in the next room. Can you say neglectful mother and misplaced priorities?)
In college I took a class on feminist history and spent four months incensed at the injustices inflicted on women. There was the inability to vote, the view of women as property, the banishment of women from certain occupations, the unequal pay when they did manage to get a job,and the oppression and devaluation of women who stay at home to raise children. I vowed to never marry and have children because those women who did so didn't seem to have much influence on the way things turned out. Or so I thought. Somehow, I thought that becoming a fashion photographer would have much more impact--as if the world would be a better place knowing that stirrup pants were out and Guess jeans were in.
But as it turns out, a lucrative career has nothing to do with how much influence for good I can have. Take, for instance, my mother and my sisters, who are neither rich or famous. Yet through the years they have made me who I am through their example. My mother is a genius at sewing, yet I admire her more for her ability to make every occasion special with handmade cards, ribbon-tied candy bars, and heartfelt conversations. More than once I've called her for advice and she's told me a story about how she asked Heavenly Father for guidance and received it, prompting me to drop to my knees and pray, too. And then there's my sisters. There are qualities in my sisters I try to emulate--not because they've told me to, but because I want to be more like them. My sisters have the ability to love screaming two-year-olds, infinite patience and charity with special-education children and supernatural powers of organization. My sisters are the kind of women little kids who are lost at the mall would naturally gravitate to, knowing that they would somehow make everything right again. As the youngest little lost child in this family, I can tell you that they do make everything right again. More than once they have rescued me from the pit of despair and discouragement. In turn, hopefully I've done the same for them. And for others, too.
There are women on my husband's side I also admire for their strength and faith. And there are women I see in the neighborhood who inspire me to be a better mother by how they nurture their own children. Even women I don't know give me hope in humanity by the way they treat others. I look up to these women not for what they have or what they look like, but for who they have become because of--or in spite of--their personal history. What better influence can you have than to make people want to be better just from watching you? Isn't that the power to change the world?
So today as you go about your business, whatever that may be, consider the influence you have on those around you. Know that how you treat a person today will last far longer than a moment--it will last for generations. Consider the possibility that a kind word, a forgiving heart, and a well-timed hug can make a person believe in the possibility that everything really will be all right after all. And that, my friends, is more than a pair of Guess jeans could ever do.
See yourself as the Lord sees you, as daughters of God with limitless potential to influence the world for good.
~(my summarization of a quotation by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Ensign, September 2009, p. 5.)
Special thanks to models Kayla and Lilly Rawle, two influences for good in the lives of many.
Oh man. This was beautiful. I'm teary eyed. Beautiful models too. Thanks for a perfectly written post. Love you.
Posted by: Lindy Baker | October 01, 2009 at 08:00 PM
Beautifully said!!! I love your blog, you are an inspiration to ALL of us!!! The pictures turn out so pretty THANKS!!!
Posted by: kayla | October 01, 2009 at 05:58 PM
Love this! Love you! Love your models!
Posted by: Jan | October 01, 2009 at 05:27 PM