Mother in the Hood: Working with Interruptions

This is the article Writer's Digest published that I mentioned in Friday's post. In addition to writing, the techniques described in this piece apply to other situations. If you like to scrapbook, read, sew, or enjoy time to yourself, these tips will probably work for you. They worked for me, even though I chickened out on writing and stopped for a few years. But I regret doing so. Please don't give up on your creativity--it will give you energy to be a better caretaker. So buy yourself a timer and get yourself a hobby. You and your family will be glad you did!

I’m in my office writing when my kids start chasing each other through the house.  Within minutes, the game turns into karate kicks and slugging, with the two-year-old yelling “Cut it out” from the sidelines.  I know what comes next.  Someone will start crying and come running to me, a tattle tumbling from his lips.  

I have two choices: I could stop writing until the kids grow up, or I could deal with their interruptions right now so I can get back to work.  As I’ve never been one to wait, I’ve chosen the second option.  Here’s how you can, too.  

 Tell them “Writing is my job, and I go to work like anyone else.”  This advice comes from author Ann Rule, who managed to support her family by writing from home.  Follow her example and tell your family that writing generates income just like your spouse’s job does.  “My kids know that they have two working parents,” freelancer Carla Charter adds.  “They try not to interrupt because they know that my job allows me to be there when they need me.”

 Divide your labors.  Children’s author Rick Walton divides his writing tasks into those he can do with kids running wild and those he can’t.  For the latter, Walton schedules time to write, hangs a “Dad at Work” sign, and locks the door.   He also sets aside time specifically for “dealing with the kids and their issues, demands, and needs.”     

Set a goal.  When family attempts to derail your train of thought, having a figurative writing destination—be it a time limit, word count, or page quota—can help them to understand that eventually you will stop working.  “I can’t stop until I’ve written five pages” is more concrete than “Leave me alone.  I’ve got work to do!”. 

 If you have preschoolers, use a timer.  Set the timer for no more than thirty minutes, put it where they can watch the minutes tick by, and let them know that when the bell rings, you’ll be available.  Then follow through.  “I sometimes have to stop and play a game with my son,” says novelist Rachel Nunes.  “But then he’ll let me go back to work.” 

 Ask, Is this an emergency?  “Sometimes kids just want a little commiseration,” Nunes points out.  “I listen for a minute, then tell them I’ll help when I’m finished.” 

“But it’s an emergency!” your kids might answer.  Fire, choking, vomit—these are real emergencies.  Needing a ride to the mall is not.  Establish what you consider a valid interruption and don’t get up for anything less. 

 Threaten.  If all else fails, follow Nunes’ example and tell the perpetrators they’ll owe you a chore if they don’t leave you alone.  Then watch them run.

 Whatever you do, don’t give up.  But do get going, even if you know you’ll be interrupted.  As business writer Kevin Nunley says, it’s always easier to come back to something you’ve already started.   And that includes your career as a writer.  

 

 

Comments

[Laura]

LOL! I am so easily interupted I never finished reading this post till now weeks later. I missed the tips.

[SHELBY]

I love your advice here! That timer is a great idea. It just breaks my heart though when I shush Lauren cause I am in the middle of something, and she walks away with a sad submissive "Ok, I'll be quiet." I think it is just as important to set aside time for yourself along with time just for them.

and I am sure glad you have found time for writing again...you are talented!

[Laura]

I am a big believer that someone who doesn't have a full tank can't be as good of use to others. I know I am a better mother when I have some stuff for myself. That being said... I still have to give up a lot. Wink.