The other day at Barnes and Noble I came across this book by photographer Joyce Tenneson. It's a compendium of photographs and interviews with older women who have figured out a few things about life. For me, it's not so much that I'm figuring out more as I get older, it's that I care less about things I once considered so important. And the older I get, the more I realize that we'll never have EVERYTHING figured out. Or everyone, come to think of it. But I think God made it this way on purpose. If we knew everything, we'd get bored. There wouldn't be anything to discover, nothing to learn, and no surprises. And I like surprises, don't you? Sure, sometimes there are bad surprises, like when you wake up to cat vomit on the hallway carpet. When you're cleaning it up, you ask if someone fed the feline people food the night before. That's when your husband crosses his arms, lays a finger to his chin and says, "Well, I did give her a bit of that curried chicken we had for dinner."
I'm talking about nice surprises, like the flowers that pop up through the frozen earth just when you think Spring forgot to show up for the party. Or when your first grader, who always pulls away when you try to give him a hug, wakes you up on a lazy Saturday morning by snuggling up next to you under the blankets, announcing, "I'm your teddy bear, Mom." Or when you find a bouquet of flowers on the kitchen counter after a hard week of miscommunication with your husband. When you ask where they came from, your husband says, "I may be thick but I'm not daft!" Perhaps the best surprise of all is that when you finally pack away the argument, securing it with thick mailing tape and labeling the box "Sticks and Stones," your love for each other has actually increased, and it looks like you'll stay married after all. Happily, too.
I've put finding this book again under happy surprises. Kind of like when the doorbell rings and you open the door to find a friend you loved hanging out with but forgot all about. I first read it when my kids were younger, looking for some comfort to get me through the transition from wanna-be intellectual to wanna-be-supermom. Back then it did help me to feel better. It gave me hope that one day I would be a wise woman too, all cozy with who I had become, able to tell people and things to buzz off whenever I felt like it. Only, it seemed like I would have to wait many years for that to happen. All of the women in the book were much, much older than me.
Years later, perusing the shelves of Barnes and Noble, I was still looking for advice. My original intention was to find some books on creativity that would wake up my brain and jump start my work. I sat down on a wooden chair in front of the photography section, a stack of knitting books on my lap. That's when I looked up and saw Wise Women, a white-haired woman on the cover holding her face in her hands, staring at me with penetrating eyes. I set down my pile and took up the book. The women told me all about how to let go, find your passion, and enjoy the journey. Joyce Tenneson's photographs inspired me, as usual. And though I'm still not wise, I might be a tiny bit smarter.
So in honor of this book that I have loved visiting through the years, I give you one of my favorite quotations from it. This comes from Christine Lee, a 67-year-old who really gets it.
"If you wake up in the morning and have a choice between doing the laundry and taking a walk in the park, go for the walk. You'd hate to die and realize you had spent your last day doing the laundry."
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to pick my way through piles of laundry and Lego landmines and go for a walk!
Bravo for good advice well-taken!
I need to check the book out, too!
Posted by: EmptyNester | March 28, 2009 at 08:56 PM
that is good to know, 'cause I've left a huge pile of laundry on bedroom floor since we've been back from vacation.
...but I haven't been on any walks this week so what HAVE I been doing!?!
Sounds like a good book!
Posted by: shelby | March 28, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Lovely! I think I'll look for that book.
Yes, sometimes it's OK to procrastinate...if you have something better to do :)
Mom always used to tell me, "Don't worry. It will be there tomorrow. You can take care of it then."
It's almost always better to go for that walk! Enjoy it!
Posted by: MeryB | March 28, 2009 at 12:27 PM